Thursday, July 15, 2010

Thoughts on God

Someone once asked me to sum up the reason I believe in God in one sentence. I know that's an impossible task. It's like asking someone to describe "war" in one sentence. There are so many emotions; so many thoughts that come flooding through my head when people ask me about such confusing and complex words. "War." I see blood. I see pools of blood. Rivers of blood and bleeding soldiers. I see a woman crying for her dead husband, whose body will never be found. I see the cries of joy from a people, liberated from their nightmares. I see the same people in anguish as they realize they have been plucked from one nightmare and put into another.

When I think of God I think of so many things. I think of Jesus. I think of Church. I think of Mass. I think of the majesty of the cathedrals and of the tiny brook that runs through the small patch of trees in my parents back yard. I think of my personal interactions with God. I think of the pain inflicted on others in the name of God. Mostly, though, I think of love.

Love, as a topic, in a lot of ways is like God. It's not tangible. Many believe in it, many don't. You can't measure it, you can't prove it exists or it doesn't exist. And largely speaking, it's something you have to just but blind faith in until you finally encounter it for yourself. Not only that, though, you might think you've found love, only to find you just convinced yourself that's what it was. It wasn't really real love though, right? I hope? Please?

People say you know you're in love when you are in its grip. But until that happens, you're in an endless game of guessing whether you're really in love or not. "If you have to ask, you're not in love," they say. You just know when it happens to you.

I believe in love. So why do I believe in God? Because I love, and I believe in love. God is love. I know God exists because God happened to me. Or maybe I believe in love because I believe in God? Does it really matter? Maybe it's both.

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